Exams are over. Somehow I do not feel as happy as I did when I anticipated how I would feel.
The thought of being happy makes one happy; the thought of being free bring more joy than actually being.
The reason being drive. It is something that pushes you, adrenaline causing euphoria. To motivate yourself, you think of the ideal outcome of success. An outcome that makes you feel good, yet far from what is to come.
Like how a bird suddenly free from its cage feels lost in the vast world. Like how a person who lives for revenge and succeeded in it has nothing more to live for. There is nothing left to drive them, they have reached their goal. Their endpoint. Until they find a new goal, they would not be satisfied. This means that it is difficult to feel contented, once your goal is reached, you need a new goal, and when you reached your new goal, you need another.
That being said, I shall not complain and be contented for now.
(Note: sorry if it sounds confusing and the ideas keep jumping around with little link. I’m confused myself. Probably my state of mind so please pardon me.)
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